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Well, God awakened me and it was just as I played the Bible in my home on the TV. It was the story with some parts of Judas. When I awoke, I was frightened! God started showing some deep things. God said some things to me so now I must speak! let’s look at some facts about this relationship! Then God said Judas is only a Judas if you marry the plans of the enemy! Because any one of us at any time can be him because if we are called and chosen, you are all a target to the devil! Insecurity brings jealousy and that brings all kinds of snares. If we do not commit fully to the plans he has for us, it’s like saying I am going check this for a while to see what’s up! This is an open heart, not an open heart in a good way; an open heart to allow all good in and the bad! Eventually, the garden will be full but all mixed up! Yes today and no tomorrow, maybe one day, I don't know yet another day! Let’s look at this that God is showing me very deeply!

Judas never repented whether or not he stayed around or left! He still had a bad heart so no matter if he stayed or left, His heart would be bad wherever he was! When he was at the table with Jesus, Jesus was not looking for Judas to just take off because his plans were exposed. He was hoping Judas would repent!

But Jesus knew that he would not! - All the way to seek Jesus and even murder, to cut a deal with the religious system, and become a free agent! Yes, he found out what it was like to be free. He was a disciple for years. Judas rationalized in his heart and mind all things. He justified all the things! Judas was never fully convinced of the call! Judas thought He was right even to the point that he was there in the flesh all of the time but not there in one spirit or accord! Others could not see Judas. They thought Judas was one of them and fully for the Messiah! But Judas was full of envy and deceit. This came from jealousy. What put him over the edge? Was it Mary, her worship of Jesus, her faithfulness, her love, and her passion for Jesus’ ministry and anointing? To Judas, Jesus was just another man. To Mary, He was the man who changed her life, who opened her eyes, who was bold! Who spoke with authority, who did not judge her for her mistakes! It was Mary’s heart that exposed Judas’ heart like never before that day! Instead of worshipping Jesus with her, he became full of wrath and indignation. The heart - if we really read Psalms and Proverbs about the capabilities of the heart!

Then scripture has it that he started passing indignation onto the others! Then Satan began to exposed him more and more. Judas was embarrassed! He could only hide in the presence of God, there but (hidden) there but he was not there in his heart. It would be gallant of Judas to take off before an amazing betrayal made history! That was not what Jesus wanted. He wanted him to say, “Hey! Ya, you’re right. I’m struggling with all this, Jesus! So I want to be so good and obviously, I don’t measure up to you and your demands are so high and I know you can handle this, but I think Jesus (God) you picked the wrong guy here!” Jesus was like, no, no. You were hand-picked. No, no, you are the one! What did Jesus want? For him to be honest and say, “Jesus, I am so jealous. I feel overlooked! I see you and feel your love! I see you are different. Jesus, help me! When you are around I can’t even find the joy in all this! But whatever it takes, I will follow you. I will be with you wherever you go! Here is my heart. It’s so nasty!” True repentance! Every sermon Jesus spoke to all people, I could see him looking over at Judas, is he coming to finally rend his heart? Did his heart get it today? Did he really see what I was trying to show him and all who are listening? No? No reaction. No resolve. No movement! Jesus looks over at Judas with His heart on so, so, so many things and says, “Wow, I love that guy. Man, he is still here! Maybe tomorrow!” Now some scholars would say, well, Jesus knew who he was and that it was written! Yes, He did, but when do think that was: when He picked him or when he dipped sop in the dish? He did know he was one of the ones He picked because Jesus knew the story was written before it was walked out just as ours is. There is no time in eternity. I tell you, He found out somewhere along the way long after he was picked but in the process of time, it was revealed clearly! Even knowing that Jesus finally knew! His love grew! Jesus loved him all the way through!

Then the worst part of it all was not the demand that the anointing put on Judas! Because all of them were in the limelight and the pinnacle of their lives, all of them! Some were fishing for a living, some collected taxes, some were doctors. All of them doing this and doing that! All of them were very tired! All did not really fully see the vision nor did they really ever grasp the cross until they saw the resurrection and the power and waited to receive their own power! All had a heart that could have been contaminated! Some hearts doubted; some of the hearts had a hard time believing! Some of the hearts denied him because they feared the consequences of a relationship with Him! Some were just around; it never says much about everyone individually, but just a few! But one thing was that all the other 11, and the 120, and how many more that followed Jesus, all got the promise and changed the world.

This one guy, Judas, allowed Satan to get in his ear! We see this was a little pride, lack of submission, and not seeing the kingdom rightly! It was not that the guy was not doing anything, no, he was doing everything. A very busy guy. He was taking care of the poor! Collecting the money! Doing so much! That’s why he was so upset for so long. Every day working and serving!

Here comes this woman. She busts in the doors. The men look around: Who is this? What is going on here? We should stop her! She did not notice Judas or any other disciples. She just burst in, eyes on only one! Treasure in hand, she destroys the bottle or the box that’s worth a lot! Everyone is looking at one another like, “What’s this?” They start to murmur! So then everyone looks at Judas, sees the envy dripping from his glands. He gulps and says! They had never seen such passion, such extravagant worship, in their lives. And they are all the same in their eyes, thinking, Hey, He washes our feet. He’s the same as us. What is this lady doing? This is just a guy sent by God. Get a hold of yourself! She is wasting all this expensive (valuable anointing oil) over this guy. One bursts out that we could have sold it for so much and helped the poor. God, we could have done a lot of good with it. Looking at each other, He is not going to stop her. I knew he was looking for that, I knew this guy was not perfect, how could He receive such a thing. Who does he think He is? Look at him over there, just allowing all this man-worship! He (Judas) had to say something! Now everyone is looking at him! Feeling and seeing the indignation. So he sounds so righteous, so noble! Jesus looking in the flesh like an attention hog! Judas, a noble servant, saying I would have helped the poor. I would have done some good (with this Absalom spirit). I don’t believe this guy!

Then Jesus feels the jealousy, and says, “What this woman has just done is preparing me for my burial. She has been sent by my Father! No one in the room knew what Jesus was going through in His heart! He was about to die! All of them, their eyes were still on themselves, asking questions! Not understanding the heavenly vision but trusting Jesus and holding on to every word He spoke! But one could not shake off the enemy’s temptation of fame and fortune, and his hidden desires were clear! He had to know what’s really in this for me? The others had all of their own imperfections, doubts, and struggles! One thing they did do is they kept Satan out of their heart! That’s the only difference! I tell you this, that’s the only difference with all of us today. Will we keep the enemy out of our hearts and out of our minds? Most of all false accusations and lies and slander to ministers and anointed vessels come from jealousy and insecurity, not seeing you are the body of Christ. Oil will get to you if you stay in unity, no matter even if you are the toe. We can make all the excuses; we all do! I faced many Judas’s in my walk! I do know I cannot find an issue of what really went wrong! It was not one issue. It was a heart issue every single time! Do you realize that Judas could even find in his own heart that Jesus loved Him, Jesus blessed Him, and Jesus was there for him. That’s what makes it such a sad story. Knowing that Judas was hoping to get dirt so he could at least have an excuse for feeling the way He did. At least people could understand him better why he was not like the others, pride! He had to have a case! He finally got some dirt – an entire field was named after him! I have become a heart surgeon, an expert in the heart field. Also, I am learning to love them all! But at the same time, guarding my own heart every single minute of the day! I proclaim I will never be someone’s Judas! I will never allow jealousy or envy in because the body is one. So deep! This is what I ask you all to do. Let’s trust God no matter if we’re in the front or in the back! Whether we’re on the stage or behind the curtain. Whether we have books written or not! Whether we have a following on social media or not! Whether we preach the paint off the walls or not! Whether we have a lot of money or none! Trust God! Guard our hearts! Because everyone sees your heart but Satan can blind you from your own heart. There is no division in love, even though love may expose, it never slanders that one. It’s very shameful! God is so patient but in the end, two men died that week. One was glorified and the other was ashamed! Both were called to be glorified! The thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy! Love and live and repent for His kingdom. It’s so, so, so worth it! Shane W Roessiger

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