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The Spirit of Rejection vs. the Spirit of Adoption


“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12: 1-2

Have you ever felt broken in your relationships, like damaged goods? Have you often felt lonely (even in a crowd of loving people), out of place, or like you just didn’t fit in? Maybe you are suffering from a spirit of rejection. This spirit can begin at a very young age and can plague you way into your senior years, affecting your relationships adversely. I felt so desperate until Jesus gave me understanding of this spirit and delivered me. Jesus is here today to set you free from a spirit of rejection bygiving you the spirit of adoption, reminding you that you are sons and daughters and joint heirs with Christ. He grafts you into the vine and does not reject you. He told me, “I was rejected and despised, too. I am no stranger to rejection.” What comfort to know that we have a God who is acquainted with rejection and with all our ways and struggles, having been rejected and despised for our sakes, who suffered and obliterated rejection by His love and the Cross, who will never leave us or forsake us, and even orders our steps to deliverance! Today, ride this wave of deliverance and lay aside this weight of rejection, and let Him finish your faith.

I tell my story today in the hopes that even one other person will get set free of this weight, this spirit.

 “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord; and he delights in his way.” Psalm 37: 23

 For me, it was a process. I knew I had to see some things, and God took me through the steps to deliverance. This is not a formula, just my story. Sometimes just SEEING is half the battle. I had been crying out to God for deliverance, but I didn’t even know from what. I just knew something was terribly wrong. I felt broken, like damaged goods. My relationships with people, especially other women, were not right. I cried out from the depths of my soul for God to fix me. I even had a soul tie that I could not break but so desperately wanted to, an “inordinate affection” (Colossians 3:5) that was becoming an obsession because I was always looking for that person to accept and love me, and I needed freedom. (See Shane W. Roessiger’s message, Breaking Soul Ties). “How do I break this soul tie?” I asked. Why was this so hard for me? This went so deep that it wasn’t normal. It was a weight, a burden, and I needed help.

 I knew that I had issues with my mother, but I did not know that it was a spirit of rejection that was working on me, but the Lord knew. He began the deliverance process. He reminded me that our steps are in His hands. Ordered means set, fashioned, directed, confirmed, established. An order is an order, not a suggestion. Ordered means He knows what to do and the end result is delight, joy. God was saying that He knew where I was at and what He was going to do to take me through it. So I asked God, “What are you ordering me to do?” I will do it. He said, “I want you to go on a 30 day fast to break this soul tie,” and I did. I knew that I did not know how to have healthy relationships with other women, but I didn’t know I was fighting a spirit, not a particular person. I am not talking about homosexuality, but God showed me that the extreme of rejection can go there, that rejection will cause you to look for male or female love that replaces the one who rejected you, but mostly I am talking about filling the empty, wounded soul that results from rejection. It leaves a hole in the soul that we become desperate to fill, and although we look to a “person” to fill it, they never can. No person could ever have the time or energy to meet that need because it is a hole that has no bottom, a bottomless pit. Healing is needed, and only Jesus can fill and heal the longing soul.

 So I began the fast. Then He woke me up at 2:30 in the morning, and for two and a half hours, I felt like I wrestled with God, contending for my deliverance even though I didn’t even know what from. I just knew I needed a touch from God. I cried out, “What must I do to do to be saved (meaning delivered)?” I couldn’t take it anymore. I was desperate for His touch and for change.

 Then I heard Him speak: “I am delivering you from a spirit of rejection.”

 I was stunned but grateful and it witnessed to my spirit. I knew I had some rejection issues, but I had no idea that this spirit was keeping me so bound up or why. A light bulb went off in my head and it made so much sense. I could SEE it in my spirit man. I was not even dealing with people; I was fighting a spirit and a stronghold in my life. Then He said this, “Elaine, know this: I do not reject you, but many times, you have rejected me and the people who really love you. You don’t see Me or them as good. I am delivering you from rejection. Hang on. I was rejected and despised, too. I am no stranger to rejection.”

 See, rejection will manifest rejection. Hurt people do hurt people. Rejected people will reject people. I rejected so many people over the years, even the ones that tried to love me, and even the ones currently in my life. I could see it now.

 I was ready to lay aside this weight. It sure was a heavy one! I was ready to deal with the sin that was holding me back. I was ready to go through the process. Patience means enduring, waiting on the Lord to move. I was desperate. I was ready to look to Jesus, the author and finisher of this work in me. So many times I quoted this verse, almost glibly sometimes. The author of my faith means He is the chief, the CAPTAIN, leading me through the steps, not watching from the side. He was in charge! The finisher is the completer, consummator (master, skilled expert, polisher and perfecter) who would complete every detail. I said, “Complete this deliverance, please, Lord.”

 Then I saw it: it was not only a spirit of rejection but a generational curse of rejection that I was born into.

“Behold, I was shaped in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. You desire truth in the inward parts; and in the hidden part you will make me to know wisdom” (Psalm 51: 5-6). 

God was revealing the core issue, a stronghold in my life.

 He brought it to light. My mother felt rejection all her life and so did I. I don’t really think she liked me or having me around. As a result, I never felt affirmed or wanted, and this affected every female relationship that I ever had because I was dealing with the spirit of rejection. It wasn’t that person but the spirit behind them that I felt and heard in everything they said or did. I felt rejected by all the women in my life without them even knowing or really doing it. It was not their fault, but it was this spirit operating in my life making me see, hear and feel rejection. As a result, I had to forgive them all for my own sake, my mother, aunts, cousins, friends, bosses, and even pastors’ wives. I asked God to take away my reproach (rebuke, disapproval) among women.

 Let me just mention that with the love of Jesus, my mother and I were able to resolve our differences many years ago, and we became good friends. Best of all, I had the beautiful honor of leading her to the Lord before she passed away and have had many visions of her in heaven with our Jesus, so young, so happy, so beautiful, finally loved and at peace with our Savior. She was not rejected any more.

 How rejection manifests:

  • Always looking for affirmation. You crave it, but no matter how many compliments you receive, you cannot hear or believe them.
  • Always needing attention. You want someone to notice and understand you.
  • Feeling lonely, even in a group of people. This loneliness is overwhelming at times.
  • Feeling like you don’t belong anywhere, like you are on the outside looking in.
  • Feeling awkward, uncomfortable, and left out. You cannot relax with people.
  • It’s always your fault. You are constantly saying your sorry for things, even if it is not your fault
  • Wanting to be liked or loved but never feeling like you are. You don’t think anyone can like or love you.
  • You cannot receive help or a gift without feeling guilty.
  • You can’t do anything right, even if you do a lot of things well, always afraid of messing up.
  • You reject the very people that you want to like/love you.
  • There is a lot of self- hatred and self-recrimination, self-doubt, lack of confidence.
  • You feel condemnation from most people, even God. Everything they say seems critical and condemning.
  • You have many negative thoughts and feelings about yourself and others.
  • You tell yourself you don’t need a friend, but you really want one. When you do have a friend, you treat them with suspicion and know they will hurt or leave you, but really you end up leaving them.
  • There is always jealousy and competition.
  • You keep people away or only let them have a little of your time. Rejected people reject people.
  • You go soul-tie hopping, hoping to create a soulish bond or even control a relationship. 

 It really is exhausting trying to deal with this on your own. You can go for years and years carrying this weight. Abuse and traumatic experiences are a huge factor in rejection. Many, like myself, are born into rejection from family or culture. I felt overwhelmed and cried out to God, “How do I do this? How do I fight this?”

 He said, “You have the spirit of adoption.”

 What does that mean, Lord? It means, “You are mine. You are adopted and grafted into the vine, abiding in Me. You are sons and daughters with the same resurrection power living in you that raised Jesus from the dead. You are an overcomer. You have every promise in my Word. I will never leave you or forsake you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by Me, and I will never reject you. You are loved.” This is the Truth, and the Truth set me free.  

 “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For you have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear (or rejection); but you have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit bears witness with our spirit that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ: if so be that we suffer with him, that we also may be glorified together.” Romans 8:15-17

The results of this deliverance from rejection have been phenomenal for me. I do not react or feel the same way towards people that I felt before. The things that used to bother me do not even touch me. I have a new boldness for evangelism to tell others about Him. My confidence and acceptance are coming from Him now so there is peace; the oil of joy has replaced the spirit of rejection. I no longer need other people to feed the emptiness in my soul because the emptiness is not there anymore. God has healed the hole in my soul and delivered me from the spirit of rejection by the Spirit of adoption. 

 You can have that same assurance of acceptance and sonship today. He is here with the spirit of adoption and His redemptive power to remind you who you are in Christ. He is no respecter of persons; what He did for me, he will do for you because the work was done on the Cross over 2000 years ago so that we can walk in our sonship. If you do not have a relationship with Him, you can today. Just ask Him. He does not turn anyone away that has a broken and contrite spirit and wants Him. If you want to be delivered from rejection today, just ask Him, and let Him lead you to freedom by the Spirit of adoption. See The Spirit of Fear vs. the Spirit of Adoption, by Marlene Roessiger, (which inspired my title) for more insight into the Spirit of Adoption and freedom. This teaching goes hand in hand with this and set me free from the spirit of fear. She explains how important it is now to stand against just one thought that will take you back to fear and rejection. We have the assurance in our sonship that we are delivered and set free. Be blessed and set free today!

 What a good, good God we serve!

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